40 Things I Learned Before Turning 40

Grown woman talk — just us. Let’s unpack some real-life lessons together.

Hey you,

So... I turned 40 a month ago.

Whew! Still getting used to this. And honestly? I kind of love how it feels. Not because I suddenly have it all figured out (because God knows I don’t), but because I’ve lived through some things. Real things. Quiet wins, loud failures, a massive loss and unexpected grace.

And somewhere in between “I got this” and “What am I doing?”, I picked up some lessons that I really wish someone had told me earlier.

So today, I just want to share. No lectures. No filters. Just me sitting here, thinking about all the things I’ve learned before hitting 40, and typing away at this keyboard. Take what speaks to you, leave what doesn’t. And feel free to say “ME TOO” out loud — I’ll hear you in spirit.

Let’s go.

1. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever, and that’s not always a bad thing.
2. “No” is a complete sentence. No guilt, no apology.
3. Protect your peace like your life depends on it, because honestly, it does.
4. You may never get closure. Heal anyway. The other party has already moved on.
5. Growth isn’t always linear. Sometimes it’s messy. Keep going.
6. You are allowed to outgrow places, people, and old versions of yourself.
7. Don't be afraid to fail. Take the risk.
8. Boundaries are love. Set them and stick to them.
9. You can start over at 30. Or 37. Or even next week.
10. Some friends stay for a season, some stay for life. Don’t force it.
11. Time is very expensive. Spend it well. 
12. No one owes you anything. Hard truth, but it sets you free.
13. Family is important... but sometimes, they’ll fail you. When that happens, I pray you have a chosen family who steps in and reminds you that love doesn’t always have to come from blood.
14. Money needs direction — if you don’t take charge, it’ll run wild.
15. You can’t save your way into wealth; your money will lose value with the speed of light. You’ve got to grow your income. Have diversified investments.
16. Just because you earn more doesn’t mean you should spend more. Don't eat Sharwarma and drink Boba tea every day because you can.
17. Emergency funds aren’t optional. Life gets wild real quick. The COVID pandemic in 2020 really taught me this.
18. One income stream? Scary. That is so damn close to zero income stream. Again, 2020 taught me this one.
19. Just to reiterate point 19, in case you still don't get it, for the love of God — do not rely on only your 9–5. Layoffs, downsizing or even, the business folding up can happen to you.
20. Impulse spending feels harmless… until it becomes a habit that keeps you broke. “I want it” ≠ “I need it.” Learn the difference.
21. Always have copies of your ID & documents in your email. You never know when an opportunity may arise.
22. You don’t need company to do the thing. Just go. Take that trip, go to the cinema. Like Jason Derulo sang, explore riding solo.
23. Love is a decision. Not just butterflies. Oh, and sometimes, you will find it in the strangest of places, and when you least expect it.
24. Real love is sometimes annoying but never confusing. If it doesn't feel safe, run.
25. You are not hard to love... you just haven’t always been loved well. There’s a difference.
26. People treat you how you treat yourself. Start there.
27. Stick to your principles. The same people ridiculing you today will respect you later for staying true to them
28. Being single is not a punishment. It’s preparation.
29. Don’t chase what’s not chasing you back.
30. Stay soft. You don’t have to turn cold to protect your heart.
31. Talking ≠ communicating. Listen, adjust, show up.
32. Your body tells the truth. Listen to it.
33. Health isn’t just gym. It’s joy, peace, and sleep too.
34. Rest is not a luxury. It’s part of healing.
35. Prayer works. Truly.
36. Joy is something you can choose, not just something that happens. Create it. Guard it. Protect it.
37. Community matters. Life gets heavy — you’ll need people who can hold space for you when you can’t carry it all alone.
38. Discipline is the bridge between goals and results. Motivation is cute, but it won’t always show up. Discipline will.
39. People won't always get your choices but do what feels best for YOU.
40. Comparison steals your joy. Don't do it.

Before I go, I didn’t write this list because I have it all figured out. I wrote it because I’ve messed up, cried in the bathroom, bounced back, lost myself, and found myself again... and somehow made it here. A little softer. A lot stronger.

If you’re in your 30s (or honestly, any age) and feel behind or unsure, you’re not alone darling.

You’re still becoming.
You’re allowed to grow.
You’re allowed to change.
And you’re allowed to take your time.

What’s one lesson you know now that you wish you’d known earlier?

Do share in the comments, I’d love to hear your version of this list.

A Message To The One I Love

 In the echoes of our shared history,

A tapestry woven with love's mystery.

Yet your absence leaves my heart torn,

In the silence, a yearning, a love forlorn.

Each day, the yearning only grows,

A melody of love, a story that flows.

But in this dance, a restraint appears,

A priority unmet, fueling my fears.

Beneath the surface, emotions hide,

A truth we can't ignore, can't cast aside.

For us to thrive, priorities must align,

Acknowledging the hurdles, now is the time.

In the midst of two worlds, economies frail,

Struggling with distance, love's ship sets sail.

African countries with burdens untold,

Yet finance strains, a story unfolds.

Your absence, like a puzzle unsolved,

Love persists, but can it be evolved?

To move forward, priorities must align,

Remove the obstacles, ask, "Is it time?"

In the garden of us, let understanding bloom,

Face the challenges, dispel the gloom.

Wisdom whispers, let's honestly see,

If the path ahead is meant to be.

So, let's rewrite our story, you and I,

Acknowledging the obstacles, aiming for the sky.

In the canvas of time, seek the heart,

Remove the barriers, make a fresh start.

Written by Enyo

12.01.24

Embrace Your Curves: Fashion Tips for Plus Size Ladies

In a world that celebrates diversity, fashion knows no bounds. Everybody deserves to feel confident, stylish, and empowered. If you're a plus size lady looking to rock your personal style, I've got you covered! Here are some essential fashion tips to help you embrace your curves and express yourself with confidence.

1. Embrace Your Body Shape:

Everybody is unique, and understanding your body shape is key to dressing well. Whether you're an apple, pear, hourglass, or rectangle, choose clothing that flatters your silhouette and accentuates your assets.

2. Prioritize Comfort:

Confidence comes from feeling comfortable in your skin. Opt for fabrics that feel good against your skin and styles that allow you to move with ease. When you're comfortable, your self-assuredness shines through.

3. Invest in Well-Fitted Bras:

The foundation of a great outfit is a well-fitted bra. Proper support enhances your posture and the way clothes drape on your body. Visit a professional for a bra fitting to find the perfect fit.

4. Play with Proportions:

Experiment with different proportions to create balanced looks. Pair fitted tops with flowing skirts or try a loose top with slim-fitting pants. Balancing proportions can create a harmonious and flattering effect.

5. Accessorize with Confidence:

Accessories are your style secret weapons. Bold statement necklaces, scarves, and trendy earrings can draw attention to your face and elevate your overall look.

6. Embrace Colors and Prints:

Don't shy away from colors and prints! Dark shades can be slimming, but vibrant hues and playful patterns can add flair to your wardrobe. Mix and match to find what resonates with your style.

7. Define Your Waist:

Creating definition at the waist can create an hourglass illusion. Try belting dresses or layering with a kimono to draw attention to this area.

8. Opt for Tailoring:

Tailoring can transform an outfit. Don't hesitate to get your clothes tailored to fit your body perfectly. Even simple alterations can make a huge difference.

9. Monochrome Magic:

Monochromatic outfits create a streamlined look. Experiment with different shades of the same color for an effortlessly chic ensemble.

10. Confidence is Key:

No fashion tip is as important as confidence. Wear what makes you feel fabulous, stand tall, and embrace your individuality. Confidence is the best accessory you can wear.

11. Shop with Intention:

Choose brands that prioritize inclusive sizing and styles that resonate with your personal taste. Explore plus size fashion stores that cater to your needs and empower your style journey.

12. Experiment and Have Fun:

Fashion is a playground of self-expression. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try new trends. Experimentation can lead to unexpected style discoveries.

13. Rock Your Signature Look:

Discover your signature style that reflects your personality. Whether it's boho chic, minimalist elegance, or urban edge, owning your unique look exudes confidence.

Fashion is a celebration of who you are, and as a plus size lady, you have the power to redefine beauty standards and embrace your curves with pride. By following these fashion tips, you'll be well on your way to curating a wardrobe that reflects your individuality and empowers you to shine from the inside out. Remember, your style journey is about embracing your authenticity and celebrating the beauty of every curve.

Guess Who's Back?

I can't believe it's been this long folks. Truth is, I miss blogging. A lot! I miss all those times I could just get on here and share my rants and speak my mind.

Sometimes life just gets in the way and we forget to make time for our passions and all that makes us happy.

Anyways, I'm back now so expect to read more from this blogger.

Cheers.