Our Gutters Are WCs At Dawn.

It is one thing to see people pouring urine and the other stuff in gutters at dawn, but when you see grown ups who should know better actually squatting and s****ing in the gutter.... SMH.

This morning as my Dad and I went for our usual jog/brisk walk, we couldn't help but comment on the pungent smell emanating from the gutter as we jogged along the street. It was a combination of remnants of the previous day's washed dishes and food particles from food vendors and, the usual human waste.

Now, my Dad always carries a flashlight during our dawn sessions since we usually have to walk on a rough path at some points and the street lights aren't in abundance. This is his way of ensuring that he does not trip over stray dogs, stones etc. Anyway, back to the main story. Yes, so my Dad and I were heading back home when we heard some unusual movement. Of course, my Dad turns on his flashlight and that's when we see this squatting and doing his own thing in the gutter.

To say I was surprised would be putting it lightly. Seriously, that street was a very busy one, even at 4:30am. The guy wasn't even bothered that we had seen him. he just went ahead and did his thing. At that point I was wishing that some creature would just bite him in the a$$! Will this same guy be surprised if after eating at the chop bar that was directly opposite the gutter, he had a serious bout of gastroenteritis? 

God help us!

Chemical Shop Attendant Don Turn Doctor?

Na waa ooo... As I sat in my office trying to ignore the budding pain in my throat it occurred to me that this symptom could mean the onset of a nasty cold, which yours truly did not intend to go through. So, I quickly checked my first aid drawer only to realize that I did not have any Amoxicillin or Vitamin C. Arrrrgh! Now, being the cautious one I decide to send Doctor Daddy a message telling him my problem. He quickly responded with instructions. Get Amoxicillin and Vitamin C from the nearest pharmacy and take so so and so capsules.

If only I knew that my trip to the drug store was going to turn into an interview, I would have worn my shoes. Lol! This was the exchange at the shop.

Me: Good afternoon
Attendant (Male): Good afternoon
Me: Please do you have Amoxicillin?
Attendant (Male): How many mg do you want?
Me: 500mg
So, the guy goes to the shelf and returns with the box of 28 capsules and says GH¢7. My dear friends, I needed only a strip since there are boxes upon boxes of the drug at home. I tell him, "Please I need just 10 capsules".

Attendant: You can't take only ten capsules. It is an antibiotic.
Me: I know that, but I have some of the drugs at home.
Attendant: Why did you leave it at home then.
Me (getting irritated): The symptoms only started this afternoon and I was given instructions.
Attendant: What symptoms?
Me (visibly pissed): Are you a doctor? What's with the interview? If you aren't going to sell me the drug tell me.
Attendant: I'm just telling you what I know
Me: And I told you what a doctor knows so tell me, are you a doctor?
Attendant: No
Me: Then please stop wasting my time and energy and give me the bloody pills!

He then gets me the strip after which I pay him. Guess what? His Maths was rusty that he almost didn't give me my change of GH¢ 1.20. What's with this? SMH.

I get the insistence that I get the full course, but I would think that with my explanation he would let it go. I wasn't buying Lasix or Atenolol for crying out loud. It was an antibiotic!

I repeat, na waa ooo.

When Hawkers & Human Windscreen Wipers Make You Lose It!

Last week as I was heading home from work I happened to find myself waiting for the red light at the Legon-Okponglo junction to turn green. Those of you familiar with that road must be aware of the human windscreen wipers who take you unawares and start to wipe your sometimes already clean windscreen with hopes of getting some loose change.

On this particular day I was tired and in a bad mood when this guy just appeared. I asked him to stop but he wouldn't listen. After performing the unwanted service he started tapping at my window and asking for money. I told him I didn't have any and the next thing I heard him say was "Wo maame twɛ".  I looked at him, laughed and said "You are still not getting a pesewa from me" as the light turned green and I drove off.

What annoys me is the worn out "wiper" they use when  they are supposedly cleaning your windscreen. It mostly does more harm that good if you ask me.

The Foreign Content on Television is Outrageous!

What is going on? If it isn't America's Got Talent, it's Real Housewives of New Jersey. Aba! It's getting ridiculous. First it was the telenovelas but, even that got old after a while. Don't get me wrong, I love watching some of these shows. It does, however, get scary when you look at a television station's programme schedule and realize that out of 19hrs of programming, only two hours worth of content is local. (sighing) I ask again, "What is going on?"

 

Seriously, at this rate we will soon be watching only local news as local content. We need more local programmes on our televisions.

Use Of Car Indicators Is A Problem In Ghana.....

How many times have you been driving when, suddenly, the car before you negotiates a turn without signalling or, abruptly turns the indicator on when they are half an inch away from their turning point? Is it that these culprits are thoughtless? Or are just just selfish?

Yesterday I followed a  woman who just stopped in the middle of the road in front of me without warning. Eventually, she turned right into a parking spot in front of a store. No signal used. Then, another taxi driver just stopped for a passenger without warning.

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Cattle Crossing Versus Butchery.

When will people learn to do things the right way? This was a question a lady asked at the DVLA eye test centre when a man was allowed to cross the queue after he had spoken to one of the attendants outside the waiting room. I laughed cus I was thinking to myself "That will probably never happen".

Anyways, back to the topic. This question lead to a conversation among all those who were waiting their turn. It was then that I learnt that people could even get their driver's license at home, without doing any tests. Wow! People get connections for Ghana oo...

Another lady, who had been silent for a while then said "No wonder trotro drivers see a cattle crossing road sign and say butchery ahead or, there's a chop bar nearby." Ewurade! I laughed so hard that I had to wipe my tear-filled eyes before I could the letters that were on the seventh line of the vision tester thing.

The Sex, Lies and Not-So-Great Lamptey-Mills

Okay, so I was listening to the interview with the alleged victim of the Lamptey-Mills rape saga this morning on Joy FM and heard the girl say that she agreed to have sex with proprietor of Great Lamptey-Mills Schools.

“He did not defile me, I gave myself to him because I want to. I dated him, he said he wanted sex and I accepted it, he did not force me…so I don’t know what is going on.” she said when told that her case was one of defilement and not rape.

After hearing that, I was dumbfounded. Forget about the law for a moment and think about this. Dating her proprietor who by the way is married? Obviously the girl is much more stupid than I thought. Does Ghana Education Service permit students to date their teachers and the proprietors of their schools?

I was just discussing the issue with colleagues at the office and someone just asked “Why hasn’t that rat being stripped of the honor he was given at the last national awards ceremony?”.  Hmmm……. naa political issue ooo…

Seeing the man on TV in those music clips have always irritated me. Maybe its because I felt that the children were paying more time to entertainment instead of their books. Now, with this issue I realize that my instincts were right. I won’t be surprised if other students accuse him of rape. Perhaps he has fun with the female students during rehearsals or better yet, its more like a give and take affair; Have sex with me and I’ll let you perform in the music video that we will be airing on advertising cycle.

Personally, I think parents should withdraw their wards from that school. I know some of you think I’m being rash but think about it. First there was this music teacher who defiled a student in the toilet, now this. Like proprietor, like teacher.

What are your views on this issue? Should he be sent to prison? Should we be concerned about a girl who seems proud of her immoral acts?

Go to Joy FM for more details on the story…….

The Gauging Principle In Ghanaian Cookery

As we sat in the troski, waiting for the traffic light to turn green so the vehicle would finally move after what seemed like eternity, a hawker passed by holding children's books and a Ghanaian recipes book. The latter quickly caught my attention and got me thinking. Being a passionate cook, I  enjoy experimenting with recipes from all parts of the world.  One thing that has always amazed me is how accurately the measurements of ingredients are listed and how perfectly the dish prepared turns out when you follow all instructions to the latter and, use the right measuring tools.

But lets face it, how many homes in Ghana even own measuring tools? Everybody operationally defines what "1 cup" is supposed to be. It could be the cups that come with rice cookers or cups as large as a water jug. My mum once told me when I asked about this issue that experience makes one a master of measurements and timings. So after cooking with her and on several occasions, these were some of the things I learnt during my teen years.

1. You can tell if soups and stews are done by looking to see if and how much oil has come to the surface after a long period of simmering.
2. When cooking rice and you want to soften it without adding water, you cover the food with a plastic bag so the steam softens the rice.
3. When there is too much salt in soups or stews, you put in a potato or thick slice of yam to absorb the excess salt.

Also, one important lesson I learnt was that when adding spices, you gauge (estimate quantities).

Got any fylla to share on the topic?

THINGS THAT GET ME PISSED

I am sure that u can relate to some of the things on my list.

Well, here it goes..........

1. The touchpad mouse on laptops
2. When I use my tigo to call an mtn or zain subscriber and the annoying lady says "the tigo number u have dialled cannot be reached at this moment"
3. People who hawk and spit in front of others without even apologizing
4. Computer viruses that come back even after your antivirus claims to have neutralised or deleted them.
5. Power failures when you don't have your torchlight or candles nearby. And you end up hitting and bumping into things as you search for them.
6. When hiplife artists use stupid phrases and senseless words so that their lyrics can rhyme.
7. Troski mates who conveniently forget to give you change.
8. Banking halls with so many empty teller booths.
9. Ghanaian movies with characters named after foreign artists. Since when did we know that names such as Ciara, Rihaana and Beyonce even existed?
10. When tv stations rudely interrupt programs or movies with ads
11. TV ads which fail to show the benefits of a product's usage.
12. Reckless troski drivers
13. Spam
14. When someone is about to tell you something then goes "never mind".
15. People who take forever to respond to your instant messages on yahoo messenger and facebook.
16. When you call the MTN hotline and follow the voice prompts only to have that annoying tone blaring into your eardrum before the call ends itself.
17. Traffic caused by police officers who claim to be directing traffic.
18. People who dont ensure that the toilet is clean after they have been there.
19. People who talk loudly when they receive calls in the troski.
20. Mechanics who take troskis in their dirty work clothes and end up making yours dirty before you even reach your destination.

Hmmm..... so many things piss me off. Maybe I would have to continue this list next time. Please do not hesitate to tell me the things that piss you off.

Hope you have a good day.