Memories From My Early Twenties: You Haven't Done The Deed Yet?

I've always been a hopeless romantic; at least for as long as I can remember. Yes, I am one of those romance flick aficionados who would cry when after so many obstacles, the hero and heroine of the movie finally declare their love for each other and share a passionate kiss. Well, I guess I learnt at a very early age that those movies were just that - movies. Where do such perfectly calculated endings happen? Not in this world I'm sure.

Anyway, back to the heart of this post. I was 22 and in my final year as an undergraduate at the University of Ghana. I had just returned from a group discussion with one of my closest friends whom, for the sake of anonymity I will call L. L and I  resided at the same hostel and usually did a lot of things together, except when her boyfriend was around. And he was around a whole lot! This made me feel a bit lonely since I would leave them (I no dey like being third wheel). 

So, one day I decide to take a stab at making new "male" friends online. HI5 was the most popular social network at the time, and thanks to the internet cafe within the hostel, I could be online at anytime. I created a profile and began to make friends. A few happened to be students at UG and asked to hang out sometime, but I was a bit nervous and always gave excuses. That happened till I met a guy who seemed friendly and gentlemanly enough. After a couple of chats we exchanged numbers, hung out a couple of times and became very good friends.

Now, at 22 my thoughts on intimacy were quite rigid. It was a wait till marriage affair for me. Heck! I had guys call me frigid because I wouldn't let them touch me in a certain way or initiate anything that would end in a condom being unwrapped, but I was determined not to allow any boy make me weaken my resolve. I saw what some of my friends had gone through and wasn't prepared to lose my mind over a guy. Besides, despite my not-so-commendable relationship with the good Lord, that was one commandment I felt I could at least try to keep.

So, one night as I was telling one of my girlfriends about how I had turned away as this new "boy" friend tried to steal a kiss, another crazy friend of mine screams and says "Oh Enyo! Don't tell me you still haven't done the deed yet." I can still remember the look I got from the lot when I said I was still "Juana La Virgin" at 22. Did they also think I was insane or frigid? Well, they must have for one bluntly stated that I had watched too many "hit and run" movies, which had made me "scared of four legs". I still laugh anytime I hear someone use that term "four legs". Am I the only one who thinks it's quite crass? I was given an earful about how; the first time was painful, the longer I waited the worse the pain got, men wanted "sexually experienced" women to marry. Oh my! It was as if keeping the V untouched at my age was a felony. 

Looking back, I realize that I was one of the lucky ones who didn't give in to peer pressure. I took pride in being different. Why be like everyone else when you can be you. After all, it is differences that are noticed, not similarities. 

The Sex, Lies and Not-So-Great Lamptey-Mills

Okay, so I was listening to the interview with the alleged victim of the Lamptey-Mills rape saga this morning on Joy FM and heard the girl say that she agreed to have sex with proprietor of Great Lamptey-Mills Schools.

“He did not defile me, I gave myself to him because I want to. I dated him, he said he wanted sex and I accepted it, he did not force me…so I don’t know what is going on.” she said when told that her case was one of defilement and not rape.

After hearing that, I was dumbfounded. Forget about the law for a moment and think about this. Dating her proprietor who by the way is married? Obviously the girl is much more stupid than I thought. Does Ghana Education Service permit students to date their teachers and the proprietors of their schools?

I was just discussing the issue with colleagues at the office and someone just asked “Why hasn’t that rat being stripped of the honor he was given at the last national awards ceremony?”.  Hmmm……. naa political issue ooo…

Seeing the man on TV in those music clips have always irritated me. Maybe its because I felt that the children were paying more time to entertainment instead of their books. Now, with this issue I realize that my instincts were right. I won’t be surprised if other students accuse him of rape. Perhaps he has fun with the female students during rehearsals or better yet, its more like a give and take affair; Have sex with me and I’ll let you perform in the music video that we will be airing on advertising cycle.

Personally, I think parents should withdraw their wards from that school. I know some of you think I’m being rash but think about it. First there was this music teacher who defiled a student in the toilet, now this. Like proprietor, like teacher.

What are your views on this issue? Should he be sent to prison? Should we be concerned about a girl who seems proud of her immoral acts?

Go to Joy FM for more details on the story…….

Aphrodisiacs, Cobra and “Exziteness”

I’ve always wondered why young and strong men who claim to be great in the sack waste their resources and time looking for various aphrodisiacs and penis enlargement treatments. Then yesterday, something very interesting happened on my way home from work.

Two of my colleagues (AB and FA), the chief driver (TT)  and i were in A.B’s car chatting when TT’s phone rings. He picks the call and talks in a very sweet voice, making it obvious that it is a lady on the other end of the line. As he ends the call, we begin to tease him about his many adventures with women. That was when he starts to talk about how he has “capa” and can make love for long periods of time.

He then proceeded to remove a small and funny looking tube  from his pocket which had the label Cobra on it and showed it to us. This was the conversation that ensued between us.

TT: This thing be strong papa. Cobra. Shwee! Just put a little at the tip of the “stick” and it will stand for hours.

Me: Eii! TT, so after all your bragging you use these things?

TT: Shwee! When I use am like this, e dey give me exziteness… To-otal!

You can imagine what happened next, AB, FA and I burst into fits of laughter. TT then decided to kill us with even more doses when he said “ when you finish like that, you are overjoyced” Ha! This drivers at the office wont kill me..

On Monday, one driver said Johannesbert. Now its “Exziteness” and “Overjoyced”. Ha!

But guys, what do you have to say about the use of these aphrodisiacs by men who, by medical standards do not need to use them? 

Holiday Secrets

A friend asked me to share a few secrets today. I agreed so here we go.... Are you Ready?

I have never had sex before but I'm sure of one thing: When I do, it will definitely be full of laughter (just like when I had my first kiss) lol!!

I happen to be a very shy person when it comes to intimacy but when I get comfortable, the feisty and naughty but sensual seductress in me awakens...... Oh yes...

Anyhoo, I've shared enough secrets for today... Do you have any to share? Please feel free........

Have a wonderful day...

The Sex In "Heart Of Men"....

Two nights ago, after hours of working on laptops, my brother and I decided to rest our tired bodies by watching a movie. Our film of choice was the much talked about Heart of Men and I must confess that, due to all the talk about it being soft porn, I was really anxious to see the movie and, draw my own conclusions.

So, we started the movie and, boy Oh boy…. We couldn’t take our eyes off till we finished watching both parts (1&2). What a movie! Could you believe that several minutes after seeing the crack and some part of Majid Michel’s butt, my brother had to tell me to shut my mouth which was gaping in amazement? Yes oo….

But on a serious note, the Venus Movie Production which was directed by Frank Rajah Arase proved that Ghanaian movies have finally found “it”. Hasn’t it been a while since one could actually watch a movie and be unsure of its ending?

Yet, there were a few things that didn’t match up in my opinion. Like, wouldn’t it have been a thrill if John Dumelo’s character had appeared at the latter part of the movie instead of immediately after he was shot? That would have been brought in an intelligent element of surprise.

And why did Nadia Buari’s character tell that of John Dumelo that Majid Michel’s character was at Accra-Ghana when, the former characters were only at the Northern Region and not another country?

One question that I can’t seem to answer is this: Since we all watch Western movies which have more steamy scenes than this movie, why are people complaining and calling the actors and actresses porn stars? No one has called Sharon Stone a porn star for Basic Instinct, or Halle Berry a slut for that steamy scene with Billy Bob Thornton in Monster’s Ball.

Come on! even Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas weren’t called porn stars for their sex scene in Original Sin. These are movies that most people have probably seen several times.

Let us stop the hypocrisy and face the truth, Ghanaians like to see some “skin”. Why do you think business is booming for newspaper vendors who sell sex-related papers like Funtime, Ebony, among many others? Don’t you see the pictures on the papers? It’s either a topless lady with huge “bazookas” or a lady with nothing on at all. Why aren’t people talking about that? Think about it…

Nevertheless, there are real problems concerning the sex scenes in African movies. Unlike the foreign movies that have stunt actors/actresses and body doubles to play roles that the real actors/actresses find distasteful or too erotic as well as the ability to manipulate the camera in creating elements of deception, Ghana hasn’t gotten to that level in the film making industry. This leaves the actors with no choice than to act out all the scenes themselves.

In my opinion, sex scenes without so little clothing can still make an interesting movie. And we must remember that despite the hunger for international recognition, our movies industry will only grow when our citizens support it too. And we do hold onto our cultural values to some extent.

I conclude this post by saying that, despite a few flaws in the movie, the cast and crew especially, those in charge of editing, continuity e.t.c, must be applauded for their efforts.

Please, feel free to give your comments on this issue.