What I can't stand is when people try to blame others for their problems without taking a deeper look within to see if those problems are actually consequences of certain decisions they made....
Sometimes people do treat us badly or in an unhelpful way and this may have a negative effect on us..... But does that make it right for us to keep reliving a past experience that may be totally unhealthy for us? I don't think so..
I have a friend who is always complaining that his Dad is the cause of his problems and his behaviour/bad habits... And you wouldn't believe what those problems and habits were:
- His inabilty to find a job
- He spends most of his time hanging out/smoking/drinking with friends who mostly had jobs
- He has very unkempt dreadlocks
Do you know what his father's crime was? Allowing his son to have the best things in life. This was someone who drove to Achimota school (which by the way was and still is one of the best schools in the country) when he was in JSS; and he could even walk or take troski if he wanted to. Yet he has the guts to blame his Dad for his problems.
So one day as I try to convince him to cut his locks off and get his act together before going on a job hunt, he starts his bitter commentary about how his dad hasn't helped him in any way and all..... And that's when I snap!
"Did he ever force a cigarrette down your throat, or ask you to sport these nasty locks which is probably why people don'ttake you seriously?" Or was he the one who asked you to spend valuable time drinking with friends who ironically, have jobs?"
He failed to understand that we are in control of our destiny, our parents do what they can but in the end, it is up to us to do something worthwhile with our lives....
So I said to him, accept responsibilty for your actions and shut the hell up!! Thats the only way you can get your shit together and move on with your life.. Forgive yourself for mistakes that have caused major setbacks in your life and move on.....
Folks, I hope you do agree that externalising blame solves nothing... Remember we will only walk on this earth once so, do make the best of the time you have......
Enjoy the weekend.....
i couldn't agree more, this hits close to home, i know someone who habours the same feelings.
ReplyDeleteIndeed it is so sad, there's a limit to what our parents can do to help us.
@ Lucci: I'm glad you agree with me.. I hope you talk some sense into that someone's head..
ReplyDeleteAfter all, we came into the world alone and at the end of the day, we are held accountable for our deeds..
I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteGood thing I don't have any close friends like that. I might have to b**ch-slap reality into their lazy heads.
@ Mike : LOL! But I love your attitude. :-)
ReplyDelete