40 Things I Learned Before Turning 40

Grown woman talk, just us. Let’s unpack some real-life lessons together.

Hey you,

So... I turned 40 a month ago.

Whew! Still getting used to this. And honestly? I kind of love how it feels. Not because I suddenly have it all figured out (because God knows I don’t), but because I’ve lived through some things. Real things. Quiet wins, loud failures, a massive loss and unexpected grace.

And somewhere in between “I got this” and “What am I doing?”, I picked up some lessons that I really wish someone had told me earlier.

So today, I just want to share. No lectures. No filters. Just me sitting here, thinking about all the things I’ve learned before hitting 40, and typing away at this keyboard. Take what speaks to you, leave what doesn’t. And feel free to say “ME TOO” out loud. I’ll hear you in spirit.

Let’s go.

1. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever, and that’s not always a bad thing.
2. “No” is a complete sentence. No guilt, no apology.
3. Protect your peace like your life depends on it, because honestly, it does.
4. You may never get closure. Heal anyway. The other party has already moved on.
5. Growth isn’t always linear. Sometimes it’s messy. Keep going.
6. You are allowed to outgrow places, people, and old versions of yourself.
7. Don't be afraid to fail. Take the risk.
8. Boundaries are love. Set them and stick to them.
9. You can start over at 30. Or 37. Or even next week.
10. Some friends stay for a season, some stay for life. Don’t force it.
11. Time is very expensive. Spend it well. 
12. No one owes you anything. Hard truth, but it sets you free.
13. Family is important... but sometimes, they’ll fail you. When that happens, I pray you have a chosen family who steps in and reminds you that love doesn’t always have to come from blood.
14. Money needs direction... if you don’t take charge, it’ll run wild.
15. You can’t save your way into wealth; your money will lose value with the speed of light. You’ve got to grow your income. Have diversified investments.
16. Just because you earn more doesn’t mean you should spend more. Don't eat Sharwarma and drink Boba tea every day because you can.
17. Emergency funds aren’t optional. Life gets wild real quick. The COVID pandemic in 2020 really taught me this.
18. One income stream? Scary. That is so damn close to zero income stream. Again, 2020 taught me this one.
19. Just to reiterate point 18, in case you still don't get it, for the love of God, do not rely on only your 9–5. Layoffs, downsizing or even, the business folding up can happen to you.
20. Impulse spending feels harmless… until it becomes a habit that keeps you broke. “I want it” ≠ “I need it.” Learn the difference.
21. Always have copies of your ID & documents in your email. You never know when an opportunity may arise.
22. You don’t need company to do the thing. Just go. Take that trip, go to the cinema. Like Jason Derulo sang, explore riding solo.
23. Love is a decision. Not just butterflies. Oh, and sometimes, you will find it in the strangest of places, and when you least expect it.
24. Real love is sometimes annoying but never confusing. If it doesn't feel safe, run.
25. You are not hard to love... you just haven’t always been loved well. There’s a difference.
26. People treat you how you treat yourself. Start there.
27. Stick to your principles. The same people ridiculing you today will respect you later for staying true to them.
28. Being single is not a punishment. It’s preparation.
29. Don’t chase what’s not chasing you back.
30. Stay soft. You don’t have to turn cold to protect your heart.
31. Talking ≠ communicating. Listen, adjust, show up.
32. Your body tells the truth. Listen to it.
33. Health isn’t just gym. It’s joy, peace, and sleep too.
34. Rest is not a luxury. It’s part of healing.
35. Prayer works. Truly.
36. Joy is something you can choose, not just something that happens. Create it. Guard it. Protect it.
37. Community matters. Life gets heavy, and you’ll need people who can hold space for you when you can’t carry it all alone.
38. Discipline is the bridge between goals and results. Motivation is cute, but it won’t always show up. Discipline will.
39. People won't always get your choices but do what feels best for YOU.
40. Comparison steals your joy. Don't do it.

Before I go, I didn’t write this list because I have it all figured out. I wrote it because I’ve messed up, cried in the bathroom, bounced back, lost myself, and found myself again... and somehow made it here. A little softer. A lot stronger.

If you’re in your 30s (or honestly, any age) and feel behind or unsure, you’re not alone darling.

You’re still becoming.
You’re allowed to grow.
You’re allowed to change.
And you’re allowed to take your time.

What’s one lesson you know now that you wish you’d known earlier?

Do share in the comments, I’d love to hear your version of this list.

A Message To The One I Love

 In the echoes of our shared history,

A tapestry woven with love's mystery.

Yet your absence leaves my heart torn,

In the silence, a yearning, a love forlorn.

Each day, the yearning only grows,

A melody of love, a story that flows.

But in this dance, a restraint appears,

A priority unmet, fueling my fears.

Beneath the surface, emotions hide,

A truth we can't ignore, can't cast aside.

For us to thrive, priorities must align,

Acknowledging the hurdles, now is the time.

In the midst of two worlds, economies frail,

Struggling with distance, love's ship sets sail.

African countries with burdens untold,

Yet finance strains, a story unfolds.

Your absence, like a puzzle unsolved,

Love persists, but can it be evolved?

To move forward, priorities must align,

Remove the obstacles, ask, "Is it time?"

In the garden of us, let understanding bloom,

Face the challenges, dispel the gloom.

Wisdom whispers, let's honestly see,

If the path ahead is meant to be.

So, let's rewrite our story, you and I,

Acknowledging the obstacles, aiming for the sky.

In the canvas of time, seek the heart,

Remove the barriers, make a fresh start.

Written by Enyo

12.01.24

Embrace Your Curves: Fashion Tips for Plus Size Ladies

In a world that celebrates diversity, fashion knows no bounds. Everybody deserves to feel confident, stylish, and empowered. If you're a plus size lady looking to rock your personal style, I've got you covered! Here are some essential fashion tips to help you embrace your curves and express yourself with confidence.

1. Embrace Your Body Shape:

Everybody is unique, and understanding your body shape is key to dressing well. Whether you're an apple, pear, hourglass, or rectangle, choose clothing that flatters your silhouette and accentuates your assets.

2. Prioritize Comfort:

Confidence comes from feeling comfortable in your skin. Opt for fabrics that feel good against your skin and styles that allow you to move with ease. When you're comfortable, your self-assuredness shines through.

3. Invest in Well-Fitted Bras:

The foundation of a great outfit is a well-fitted bra. Proper support enhances your posture and the way clothes drape on your body. Visit a professional for a bra fitting to find the perfect fit.

4. Play with Proportions:

Experiment with different proportions to create balanced looks. Pair fitted tops with flowing skirts or try a loose top with slim-fitting pants. Balancing proportions can create a harmonious and flattering effect.

5. Accessorize with Confidence:

Accessories are your style secret weapons. Bold statement necklaces, scarves, and trendy earrings can draw attention to your face and elevate your overall look.

6. Embrace Colors and Prints:

Don't shy away from colors and prints! Dark shades can be slimming, but vibrant hues and playful patterns can add flair to your wardrobe. Mix and match to find what resonates with your style.

7. Define Your Waist:

Creating definition at the waist can create an hourglass illusion. Try belting dresses or layering with a kimono to draw attention to this area.

8. Opt for Tailoring:

Tailoring can transform an outfit. Don't hesitate to get your clothes tailored to fit your body perfectly. Even simple alterations can make a huge difference.

9. Monochrome Magic:

Monochromatic outfits create a streamlined look. Experiment with different shades of the same color for an effortlessly chic ensemble.

10. Confidence is Key:

No fashion tip is as important as confidence. Wear what makes you feel fabulous, stand tall, and embrace your individuality. Confidence is the best accessory you can wear.

11. Shop with Intention:

Choose brands that prioritize inclusive sizing and styles that resonate with your personal taste. Explore plus size fashion stores that cater to your needs and empower your style journey.

12. Experiment and Have Fun:

Fashion is a playground of self-expression. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try new trends. Experimentation can lead to unexpected style discoveries.

13. Rock Your Signature Look:

Discover your signature style that reflects your personality. Whether it's boho chic, minimalist elegance, or urban edge, owning your unique look exudes confidence.

Fashion is a celebration of who you are, and as a plus size lady, you have the power to redefine beauty standards and embrace your curves with pride. By following these fashion tips, you'll be well on your way to curating a wardrobe that reflects your individuality and empowers you to shine from the inside out. Remember, your style journey is about embracing your authenticity and celebrating the beauty of every curve.

Guess Who's Back?

I can't believe it's been this long folks. Truth is, I miss blogging. A lot! I miss all those times I could just get on here and share my rants and speak my mind.

Sometimes life just gets in the way and we forget to make time for our passions and all that makes us happy.

Anyways, I'm back now so expect to read more from this blogger.

Cheers.

My Latest Obsession with Telemundo.

Acapulco Bay marked the introduction of telenovelas into Ghanaian homes in 1998. Heck, people's homes even burnt to the ground, since they would leave the candles lit during dumsor, whilst they trekked to watch through the windows of homes that could afford generators at the time. Some people were ingenious to use their car batteries to power their television sets.

I would say that after Acapulco Bay and Cuando Seas Mia, I was done with telenovelas. The only one that captured my interest afterwards was La Usurppadora on TV3. Unfortunately, I was in Secondary School at the time and had to rely on the recaps given by my stepmom and elder sister whenever they came to visit. Sigh... those were good times.

In University, I was the one who would tease friends who were always in a hurry to get home to watch the latest telenovela on TV. "The stories are always similar," I would moan. Let's face it, some of the story lines are so cheesy as heck, but you still find thousands of people glued to their television set when it's time to view these programmes.

I've always felt this way about telenovelas till one fateful Sunday afternoon,when out of boredom I decided to watch "Behind Closed Doors" on the Telemundo Channel on DSTV. To this day I still can't decide on whether that was a good or bad decision. I was hooked! Still am by the way.  Not only are the stories so modern, once you put aside the "romance" aspect of the stories, you would notice that there is some good content in there.

Since I started watching Telemundo, I have noticed a pattern in almost all the telenovelas that I have viewed. Who knows, maybe you have noticed them too. So behold, the noticeable characteristics of telenovelas.

• Secrets: There is always a secret at the beginning of the story that becomes unearthed toward the end of the telenovela.
• Inter-social Relationship: A rich guy always falls for a poor girl and vice versa.
• Infidelity: Someone is always in an extramarital affair.
• Deception: The murderer in a mystery themed telenovela is always the nicest person you'd least suspect.
• Death: Someone always dies.
• Shady Business: There is always some fraudulent activity or drug dealing going on.

To be honest, as much as these themes recur in telenovelas, I still must commend Telemundo for trying to ensure currency in their storylines. There are always twists and turns, even though we know that ultimately, the protagonists are able to overcome obstacles and end up together.

At the moment I'm in love with A Passion for Revenge. Thank God for the DSTV Explora, since I get to record episodes when I'm busy so I can watch at a later time. 

What are your favorites? Kunkum Bhagya? Would like to read your thoughts as well.

 

Memories From My Teens: The Wrong Fart.

It was a regular weekday in secondary school. The bell signifying the end of first break had just been rung and students were rushing to their classrooms; to avoid the wrath of teachers who obviously weren't pleased with the idea of  waiting for their students.

Anyway it was, like we used to call it, English period. I had just returned from the Staff Common Room (part of my duties as Assistant Class Prefect was to search for teachers if they weren't in class ten minutes after their period had begun) with instructions that we were to read a text and work on an assignment since our teacher had to see to an emergency.

We were reading in groups when all of a sudden, my stomach began to growl, you know, that sound that's like a combination of the wind blowing and a tap flowing. At first I shrugged it off since, I hadn't eaten anything crazy that morning. Then the discomfort began to increase and the growls as well, and that's when I made that big mistake. I figured that it was gas and I felt a fart coming up. Silly me thought I could quickly release it and be free but no, I was in for an unpleasant surprise as I released the wrong fart. I just felt something warm in my undies.

"Shit!" (the irony). I had just crapped my pants!

I didn't know how to react. I just remember getting up slowly and asking one of my good friends to bring my books to the dorm if I didn't return before closing time. As I trudged to the dormitory, which was a quite far from the classrooms, I prayed that I wouldn't meet any one who would ask unnecessary questions or smell anything funny.

I got to the dormitory and ran straight to the "Tugbuntiafi" (what is known as pit latrine to many), took the soiled undies off and threw them straight into the latrine. Looking back, I shudder thinking of how I would have handled the situation if the dormitories had been locked on that day. So, I did my thing, went straight to take a bath, popped some anti-diarrhea pills and stayed in the dorm till closing.

That evening at prep my colleagues kept asking where I vanished to during that period. To this day I have learned never to "release" anything if I'm unsure of the games my bowels are playing. After all, s**t happens (pun intended).

Seth Rogen & James Franco's Parody of Kanye West's Bound 2 Video is Hilarious!!

Seth Rogen and James Franco decided to take time to do a shot-by-shot remake of Yeezy's latest music video starring Kim Kardashian. I  wonder how these guys able to do this with straight faces? I laughed so hard. Lol!

Here's the original video featuring Kim Kardashian.


Now take a look at the Seth and James version.
 

Memories From My Early Twenties: You Haven't Done The Deed Yet?

I've always been a hopeless romantic; at least for as long as I can remember. Yes, I am one of those romance flick aficionados who would cry when after so many obstacles, the hero and heroine of the movie finally declare their love for each other and share a passionate kiss. Well, I guess I learnt at a very early age that those movies were just that - movies. Where do such perfectly calculated endings happen? Not in this world I'm sure.

Anyway, back to the heart of this post. I was 22 and in my final year as an undergraduate at the University of Ghana. I had just returned from a group discussion with one of my closest friends whom, for the sake of anonymity I will call L. L and I  resided at the same hostel and usually did a lot of things together, except when her boyfriend was around. And he was around a whole lot! This made me feel a bit lonely since I would leave them (I no dey like being third wheel). 

So, one day I decide to take a stab at making new "male" friends online. HI5 was the most popular social network at the time, and thanks to the internet cafe within the hostel, I could be online at anytime. I created a profile and began to make friends. A few happened to be students at UG and asked to hang out sometime, but I was a bit nervous and always gave excuses. That happened till I met a guy who seemed friendly and gentlemanly enough. After a couple of chats we exchanged numbers, hung out a couple of times and became very good friends.

Now, at 22 my thoughts on intimacy were quite rigid. It was a wait till marriage affair for me. Heck! I had guys call me frigid because I wouldn't let them touch me in a certain way or initiate anything that would end in a condom being unwrapped, but I was determined not to allow any boy make me weaken my resolve. I saw what some of my friends had gone through and wasn't prepared to lose my mind over a guy. Besides, despite my not-so-commendable relationship with the good Lord, that was one commandment I felt I could at least try to keep.

So, one night as I was telling one of my girlfriends about how I had turned away as this new "boy" friend tried to steal a kiss, another crazy friend of mine screams and says "Oh Enyo! Don't tell me you still haven't done the deed yet." I can still remember the look I got from the lot when I said I was still "Juana La Virgin" at 22. Did they also think I was insane or frigid? Well, they must have for one bluntly stated that I had watched too many "hit and run" movies, which had made me "scared of four legs". I still laugh anytime I hear someone use that term "four legs". Am I the only one who thinks it's quite crass? I was given an earful about how; the first time was painful, the longer I waited the worse the pain got, men wanted "sexually experienced" women to marry. Oh my! It was as if keeping the V untouched at my age was a felony. 

Looking back, I realize that I was one of the lucky ones who didn't give in to peer pressure. I took pride in being different. Why be like everyone else when you can be you. After all, it is differences that are noticed, not similarities. 

Memories of My Childhood: Tales by Moonlight.

Image courtesy of Google Images

I have always had this undying love for African folklore. Even as a child, I remember how I would quickly go through hundreds of pages of storybooks that were given to us at school, to the chagrin of my Dad, who usually thought the books would have me silent for a couple of days :). For some strange reason, as I drove to work today I began to think about the things that kept me busy during weeknights and weekends during my early years, and one thing that stood out was "Tales by Moonlight".

As a child growing up in Nigeria, this was a programme that many looked forward to viewing each week. Unfortunately, I can't seem to remember what day it aired on NTA (Nigerian Television Authority) but, I do remember how the following morning's discussions at school focused mainly on the story viewed the evening before.

Tales by Moonlight was an awesome kids' show that had the lovely lady storyteller (I think she was Aunty Nkem or something) share folktales with a group of girls and boys in a village setting. These stories, as the title of the show suggests, were narrated in the evening by moonlight. Oh! How I miss those days. As soon as I heard her say "Story story", I would be automatically hypnotized by the TV for the next 30-35 minutes. Not even my favorite meal could take my eyes away from the screen. 

Well, Aunty would then magically transport us viewers into storyland as voice/ human actors re-enacted the story being narrated, depending on the nature of the story. Two of my favorites were "Why the Tortoise Has a Cracked Shell" and "Why the Sky is so High". These stories were not only entertaining, but also taught very valuable lessons/morals at the end. Let's not forget the colourful "Chocomilo kids are here" ad that ended with the "Chewy, Chocolaty Chunks of Fun tagline."

Sigh! If only we would continue to show some of these programmes, children would learn a lot from these instead of the "Ben 10s" and "Generator Rexs" that have nothing valuable to teach these children. Sadly, favorites like "By the Fireside" and "Thursday Theatre" just faded away into oblivion.

Do my Nigerian friends remember "Tales by Moonlight"? To my Ghanaian/other friends, remember any interesting programmes from your childhood? Please share.

Our Gutters Are WCs At Dawn.

It is one thing to see people pouring urine and the other stuff in gutters at dawn, but when you see grown ups who should know better actually squatting and s****ing in the gutter.... SMH.

This morning as my Dad and I went for our usual jog/brisk walk, we couldn't help but comment on the pungent smell emanating from the gutter as we jogged along the street. It was a combination of remnants of the previous day's washed dishes and food particles from food vendors and, the usual human waste.

Now, my Dad always carries a flashlight during our dawn sessions since we usually have to walk on a rough path at some points and the street lights aren't in abundance. This is his way of ensuring that he does not trip over stray dogs, stones etc. Anyway, back to the main story. Yes, so my Dad and I were heading back home when we heard some unusual movement. Of course, my Dad turns on his flashlight and that's when we see this squatting and doing his own thing in the gutter.

To say I was surprised would be putting it lightly. Seriously, that street was a very busy one, even at 4:30am. The guy wasn't even bothered that we had seen him. he just went ahead and did his thing. At that point I was wishing that some creature would just bite him in the a$$! Will this same guy be surprised if after eating at the chop bar that was directly opposite the gutter, he had a serious bout of gastroenteritis? 

God help us!

Chemical Shop Attendant Don Turn Doctor?

Na waa ooo... As I sat in my office trying to ignore the budding pain in my throat it occurred to me that this symptom could mean the onset of a nasty cold, which yours truly did not intend to go through. So, I quickly checked my first aid drawer only to realize that I did not have any Amoxicillin or Vitamin C. Arrrrgh! Now, being the cautious one I decide to send Doctor Daddy a message telling him my problem. He quickly responded with instructions. Get Amoxicillin and Vitamin C from the nearest pharmacy and take so so and so capsules.

If only I knew that my trip to the drug store was going to turn into an interview, I would have worn my shoes. Lol! This was the exchange at the shop.

Me: Good afternoon
Attendant (Male): Good afternoon
Me: Please do you have Amoxicillin?
Attendant (Male): How many mg do you want?
Me: 500mg
So, the guy goes to the shelf and returns with the box of 28 capsules and says GH¢7. My dear friends, I needed only a strip since there are boxes upon boxes of the drug at home. I tell him, "Please I need just 10 capsules".

Attendant: You can't take only ten capsules. It is an antibiotic.
Me: I know that, but I have some of the drugs at home.
Attendant: Why did you leave it at home then.
Me (getting irritated): The symptoms only started this afternoon and I was given instructions.
Attendant: What symptoms?
Me (visibly pissed): Are you a doctor? What's with the interview? If you aren't going to sell me the drug tell me.
Attendant: I'm just telling you what I know
Me: And I told you what a doctor knows so tell me, are you a doctor?
Attendant: No
Me: Then please stop wasting my time and energy and give me the bloody pills!

He then gets me the strip after which I pay him. Guess what? His Maths was rusty that he almost didn't give me my change of GH¢ 1.20. What's with this? SMH.

I get the insistence that I get the full course, but I would think that with my explanation he would let it go. I wasn't buying Lasix or Atenolol for crying out loud. It was an antibiotic!

I repeat, na waa ooo.

Random Things...

Hi, I know it's been ages since I last posted something on this blog. Forgive wai... I guess that is why when my friend S asked me to answer 54 random questions about myself, Iwas like why not? So, I hope you find this entertaining.

1. Who was the last person you texted?: My friend Nii. It was an accusatory whatsapp message. lol!

2. When is your birthdate?: April 5

3. Who do you want to be with right now?: Me, Myself and I

4. What sports do you play?: Hmm. I used to play volleyball but that hasn't happened in over a decade.

5. Who is the first person in your contacts?: That would be Abi

6. What is your favorite song as of the moment?: You & I by Keke Wyatt and Avant.

7. If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?: *Naughty chuckle* I would rather not say.

8. What do you feel right now?: Euphoric. The endorphins of this morning's workout are in full gear.

9 . What chocolate is your favorite?: Golden Tree Dark chocolate. What else tastes as divine?

10.  How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?: *Clearing throat and counting fingers* I would say three.

11. Why did you create a Blogger account?: I needed a place to vent and share my thoughts and ideas.

12 . Who is your favorite blogger?: That would be Cece of the Big Girl Blog.

13 . Where do you want to be right now?: In bed, reading my Jackie Collins novel.

14 . What do you want to be in the future?: Hopefully, the CEO of a major communications consultancy. Or a partner in one.

15 . When was the last time you cried? Yesterday, I watched a wedding proposal online and my... who knew guys like that were still out there?

16.  Are you happy?: I'm rather content.

17 . Who do you miss?: My big sister.

18 . If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?: There are times when I think so but, in the end... I wouldn't change a thing.

19 . What was the best thing you were given?: The Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban book I received when I was 18. It was totally unexpected.

20. Who was the last person who called you?: My Dad

21. What is your favorite dish?: Jollof rice and goat meat sauce.

22. Have you ever cheated on your partner?: Definitely not!

23. Who do you spend crazy moments with?: *smiling* that would be my friend Gifty.

24..What kind of music do you listen to?: Almost anything. Jazz, Pop, R&B, Gospel.. Heck! If it's good I will listen to it!

25. Are you over your past?: Finally, yes.

26. How’s your heart?: It flutters from time to time, but good otherwise.

27. Do you like someone as of the moment?: Actually, I do

28. What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?: Absolutely nothing!

29. Do you have any phobias?: Heights

30. Did you try to change for a person?: In the past, yes, and obviously it didn't work out. So I've learned that they aren't the one if they can't accept you as you are.

31. What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?: I bought the nicest shirt I could find for a good friend of mine on his birthday.

32. Would you go back to your previous relationship?: H E L L to the definite NO. What's done is done.

33. Are you in a good or bad mood?: I'm actually in a pretty good mood.

34. Name someone you can’t live without.: My parents. Sorry but I'm giving two.

35. Describe your dream date.: One that feels like we're old friends. We get great food. Good drinks.

36. Describe your dream wedding.: This one deserves its own post oo. One thing I can definitely say is that it would be an outdoor affair.

37. How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?: None.

38. Have you ever been kissed?: Uh huh....

39. How long is your longest relationship?: On and off: Almost 3 years. 

40. Have you ever cried over someone?: Haven't we all?

41. Do you have a grudge against anyone?: At the moment yes but it'll pass

42. Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?: Hmmm... haven't we all?

43. Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?: Yes

44. Do you like getting hurt?: Seriously? Is there anyone out there who is like that? SMH

45. Does anyone hate you?: lol! Probably.

46. If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?: Erhm. My weight. Working on it actually.

47. Can you live without internet?: That can't happen.

48. What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?: When I have my special someone I will know what song it is.

49. Are you good at holding back your tears?: Yep.

50. Have you ever experienced being hysterical?: Ha! I remember those days when I was working on my thesis.

51. Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?: Who hasn't?

52. Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?: Sadly, yes.

53. Do you have trust issues?: I do.

54. Do you think all the pain is worth it?: Sometimes. Pain teaches you lessons, but it also makes you very cold.

Making My Blue Heart Red Again.

When we first met, I didn't think it possible 
My heart, so cold was frozen by the past hurt 
It was kept under lock and key 
But with all the strength I had 
I couldn't fight the feeling deep within 

I tried not to think of you 
To tell myself that what I felt was a mistake 
That I was fine being all by myself 
A lie, even I could not convince myself was true 

I see you and a unique kind of warmth just captures my whole being 
I battle with my feelings as I try to keep you from making my blue heart red again 
For I am afraid you will hurt me 
Afraid my heart will freeze again and the numbness worse than before 

I told myself "don't love him for you will only get hurt" 
Then i closed my eyes and there you were 
Reminding me of all the things I feel 

I'm tired of holding back. 
My longing for you overcame my fear 
Your gentle touch conquered my defenses 
And when you held me in your arms and said you loved me 
The glacier in my heart began to melt 
As the warmth of your love filled my soul.

When Hawkers & Human Windscreen Wipers Make You Lose It!

Last week as I was heading home from work I happened to find myself waiting for the red light at the Legon-Okponglo junction to turn green. Those of you familiar with that road must be aware of the human windscreen wipers who take you unawares and start to wipe your sometimes already clean windscreen with hopes of getting some loose change.

On this particular day I was tired and in a bad mood when this guy just appeared. I asked him to stop but he wouldn't listen. After performing the unwanted service he started tapping at my window and asking for money. I told him I didn't have any and the next thing I heard him say was "Wo maame twɛ".  I looked at him, laughed and said "You are still not getting a pesewa from me" as the light turned green and I drove off.

What annoys me is the worn out "wiper" they use when  they are supposedly cleaning your windscreen. It mostly does more harm that good if you ask me.

Things Are Falling Apart...

Sigh! They are waiting for that hanging part to drop on an innocent pedestrian or driver on a windy day. 

Deadly Billboards...

One only needs to walk along the streets of Accra to see that outdoor advertising has become a very common means of exposing brands and products in the nation's capital Accra. Huge billboards advertising cars, mobile phones, banks, rice etc. can be found all over the city but it is those by the roadsides that command the attention of the viewer, due to their sizes and bright display of colours and creative flexibility. And, considering that it is always there 24hrs a day with no interruption, it is therefore no wonder that many advertisers who can afford it prefer this mode of advertising.

My problem with these billboards however, is how they are mounted and maintained. Have these billboard constructing companies forgotten that we are talking about tonnes of metal that could instantly create havoc if not handled with utmost care and responsibility? Anytime I'm going to the Legon Total Filling Station I say a little prayer as I drive underneath a billboard structure which used to advertise the Huawei range of tablets 

(would have taken a picture but the road does not really accommodate parking). The thing is literally falling apart! I sure hope that a piece (or the whole) of it doesn't decide to come crashing down when someone is driving by; it would be catastrophic! And that isn't the only faulty one I've seen!

AMA, AAG, DDP and the rest of you who work in the billboard construction and mounting industry, I beg of you, our lives are too precious to be risked by ignorance and incompetency.

Is Born Starz on Viasat 1 Offering Humiliation & Disrespect as Entertainment?

In recent years a lot of reality shows have hit the TV screens in our homes. We have all watched episodes of Mentor, Stars of the Future, Next Movie Star, Talented Kids and all the beauty pageants that have been aired on various channels. Some of these television shows unearthed the talents of many of our stars such as Irene Logan, Efya, Lydia Forson, Martha Ankomah, Yvonne Nelson among several others. It is for this reason that I personally applaud those that help the youth to reach their full potential.

I have been a giant, devout, shameless fan of every singing competition. It’s refreshing to hear Ghanaians who can sing any song effortlessly. I also love watching the auditions because I get to laugh at those who want to at least get their 15-30 seconds of fame even when it is very obvious that they won’t go beyond their first audition. Yes, I do believe that’s an extension of Schadenfreude, a German word used to describe people's delight and entertainment at the failings and problems of others. However, what I can’t accept is when the people who are acting as judges humiliate these contestants so badly that even viewers at home cringe.

Two nights ago I happened to be watching a Born Starz on Viasat 1. This show is supposed to be aimed at unearthing and developing skills and talents from individuals and groups from all walks of life. I also heard that there are no age restrictions and talent barrier, the show gives the public an equal opportunity to exhibit their unique abilities.

So, imagine my shock when after one contestant tried to show his “unique” ability by performing what I’m sure he thought was a good rap, the youngest judge, David Oscar who is the host of "Laugh A Minute"; one of the worst comedy shows I’ve ever come across on that same television station, just looked at the guy and said “Get out!!!”. That wasn’t all; he made rude remarks to a lot of other contestants after that.

I don’t think that these wannabes leave their homes to be insulted and humiliated on national or even cable television. If they are awful, just tell them politely. I think that rejection is enough humiliation but outright disrespect/impoliteness is an absolute NO. For crying out loud, if these contestants were professionals, they wouldn't even come auditioning on the show!

What about you guys? What is your take on this issue? Do you think that the behaviour of some of these judges is justifiable? Do these contestants really deserve disrespect just because they could not make these judges laugh with their jokes or impress with their vocal ability? Share your views....

Knowing When To Say Goodbye

Source: DeviantArt

In the last few months I have come to realize the importance of saying goodbye to certain people in your life, even though your heart may be loaded with love for them. Throughout our span of life we meet people, share common interests, develop relationships, and grow. Sadly, you do not always find yourself growing with a person when you desperately want to. Instead, you realize that you grow more apart with each passing day. For many relationships there comes a point where it becomes better for you and the other persons involved to end the relationship .

For so long I had maintained relationships that simply did not feel good in my heart, soul and mind. Some of these relationships involved a combined mixture of conflict and discontent. Others were filled with pure discomfort, selfishness and inconsideration.  As I insisted on maintaining these relationships I noticed that I was no longer growing. These people were not adding to my life and were actually using up all my energy. Times I should have spent having a good time were dedicated to me moping in my room and feeling sorry for myself.  I stuck with a lot of relationships because my heart was still flooding with great love for the persons of interest. Just the thought of saying goodbye frightened me to the core of my very being. This fear of letting go, being alone and, living with constant pain left me in negative relationships.

However, there comes a time where one has to accept the painful truth and move on. I find that giving my heart to the Lord has made things much easier for me. I realize now that getting rid of all unhealthy relationships will create more space in my life to create new and positive relationships. 

I thank the Lord for giving me the strength to do that which I should have done a long long time ago.

Anas Does It Again. The Abortion Doctor Rape Saga!

You  must admire Anas Aremeyaw Anas for the patience and hard work he puts into bringing the indecent acts of devious minded people into the public domain. This time, we find out about one medical student who decided to meet his lustful desires with desperate girls and women seeking to rid themselves of unwanted pregnancies.

Below are excerpts of the story from myjoyonline.com

"News One’ has watched a secretly recorded video that captures a Ghanaian Medical Student forcing his female patients to have unprotected sex with him right in his theatre.The women, some of whom are known faces in society had gone to the clinic for surgical abortion at various times and the doctor, after making them strip naked for the operation, forced them to have sex with him with an excuse that without the sex, the abortion would not be successful."

The doctor is currently in police grips being prepared for court as investigations continue into the case. The must-watch video was secretly recorded by mysterious investigative journalist Anas Aremeyaw Anas, at a private clinic located at Madina, a suburb of Accra. The scenes are mind-boggling and the acts brutal. The name of the clinic starts with the letter ’U’ but the full name would be withheld for now because the illegal acts of the doctor seem to have been secretly done on the blind side of the clinic’s management.

For the three month period that Anas and his team placed the secret cameras in the theater, the doctor was captured having a sex with over 52 different ladies who had gone to him for abortion. The women were aged between 20 and 40 years and were charged various amounts from GH150 to GH400, depending on the age of the pregnancy. He told the unsuspecting women, midway into the abortion, that unless an erected penis entered them, the exercise would be unsuccessful so they had no choice but to let him enter."

Hmmm.... On a more serious note, why would anyone believe such a cock and bull story? Could it be that most of his patients were illiterates? Also, did I read medical student? Are they allowed to operate before graduating from medical school. I thought that was only after they became medical residents. Eye asem ooo...

What do you think about this story? How do we deal with such a sick person? The floor is open for comments.

The Foreign Content on Television is Outrageous!

What is going on? If it isn't America's Got Talent, it's Real Housewives of New Jersey. Aba! It's getting ridiculous. First it was the telenovelas but, even that got old after a while. Don't get me wrong, I love watching some of these shows. It does, however, get scary when you look at a television station's programme schedule and realize that out of 19hrs of programming, only two hours worth of content is local. (sighing) I ask again, "What is going on?"

 

Seriously, at this rate we will soon be watching only local news as local content. We need more local programmes on our televisions.