My Plea This Christmas: No Road Hogs!!!

As people travel to their villages and hometowns to celebrate this Christmas. It is my prayer that the Lord touches the hearts of drivers like this, so that they think about the number of lives they endanger.

Please don't be in such a hurry. What's the use of rushing when in the end, you never reach your destination.

May the Lord guide us all and give us an accident-free Christmas...

All those with me should say a silent Amen when they read this short prayer....

Officially Stuck!!

With red-rimmed eyes, I awoke today

With you still on my mind

I've tried but just can't find a way

To leave the past behind

I still miss you

And how I used to tease you

I hug my pillow tight,

When there's no one in sight

I spy my phone

Hoping you'll make that call

Or show up at my door

(Sigh)

But sadly, you never do

So why do I dream of you?

They say its pathetic,

I swear I'm fine!

So when I call another,

By your very name

I see my failure,

In this love battle

Baby, its official,

I'm stuck on you....

A Forbidden Desire....

It’s a cold harmattan night,

With no stars in sight

We lie in each other’s arms,

Content with life’s charms

I sigh with desire

As the scent of his perfume

Caresses my nostrils

My body shivers at his touch

As his hands find my sensual spots

His kisses create muscular spasms

My back arcs with yearning,

As natural forces propel me

My mind tells me no

But my body screams yes, yes and yes

Is this the right time? I ask

For I have known no man.

One part of me pleads yea, yea!

And the other screams, Hell No!

But then, I have more time to decide

For the rudely interrupting phone call,

Was my saviour in disguise.

A Dry Christmas?

It is common knowledge that Ghanaians love to spend money during the yuletide. Newly painted houses, sewing houses with lights still on after 8pm (in order to meet deadlines imposed by last minute clients), and the busy streets and shopping centres have been proof over the years.

So my question is : What the hell is going on this year? Have you noticed how the big shops in town never seem to have traffic? And its like most children may have to wear last year's clothes and shoes since the children's stores don't seem to be making sales.

You hardly hear the radio stations playing Christmas carols like the they did in the past years. And most employees have doubts about receiving any bonuses this year.

I guess "chao" people won't be "flexing" with lavish parties this year...

Hmm... I sincerely hope we all have a Merry and not a Dreary Christmas..

Thanks “sleeping” Service!!

So, yesterday we had our annual Thanksgiving service at Church. This gave us the opportunity to thank God for all the things he has done and continues to do in a special way. It was a lengthy service and as it ran into its third hour I began to hear my stomach grumbling with hunger (Why didn’t I take breakfast?).

And that was when I noticed him. Guys, could you believe that a man seated two chairs from me had been sleeping since the service started? He only woke up to give his offertory. Wow!!

As I caught a glimpse of him enjoying his trip to dreamland whilst the pastor was preaching the sermon for the day I asked myself this question.

Is this a Thanksgiving Service or a ThanksSleeping Service?

Then again, the spirit might be willing but I must say that in his case, the flesh is sooo..... definitely weak.....

THINGS THAT GET ME PISSED 2!!

I promised to continue this list from  where I left off in Things that get me pissed... Hopefully you will find more things to relate to:

Here we go again:

1. 
   
   DJs who keep talking when the song is playing.
   
2. 
   
   HP 3-in-1 printers; They take forever to respond to a print command.
   
   
   
3. 
   
   People who doze on your shoulder on the bus (Is my shoulder a pillow?)
   
   
   
4. 
   
   Salon attendants who tell you the wig you bought can't be used for the style of your choice just because they can't do the job.
   
   
   
5. 
   
   CDs that skip after playing them twice.
   
   
   
6. 
   
   The empty pay points at GAME and SHOPRITE; Remove the damn things if no one is gonna be there to serve customers.
   
   
   
7. 
   
   TV stations that repeat telenovelas shown by their competitors; Copycats!
   
   
   
8. 
   
   Dispensing chemists who glare accusingly at people who buy condoms ( why sell them then?)
   
   
   
9. 
   
   Squatters who decide to build pit latrines right opposite your home.
   
   
   
10. 
    
    People who feel they are too important to join queues and wait for their turn.
    
    
    
11. 
    
    People who call your phone and ask "who is speaking?". Ewurade!!
    
    
    
12. 
    
    Answering machines.
    
    
    
13. 
    
    People who waste time at ATMs especially when there ar long queues.
    
    
    
14. 
    
    Las Palmas Int. Restaurant/Chop Bar. I don't know why the owner has decided to always put up branches in crowded places, and their dustbins are always in front of the building. Oh! and their architect is just full of @$@^#.
    
    
    
15. 
    
    When people take your phone and change all the settings without telling you.
    
    
    
16. 
    
    Celebrities who feel its important to give dosages of LAFA (Locally Acquired Foreign Accent) on TV and radio and end up messing things up (Is it by force?).
    
    
    

 Please feel free to add things that piss you off to this list. After all, thats what we do; share our experiences..
 Have a great day y'all!!

Zain; My Not-So-Wonderful World!!

It started as a wonderful world but these days my once favorite telecommunications provider is beginning to test my patience... Wanna know why?

Here it goes...

Last week, this internet loving blogger purchased GHC 30 worth of Zain credits to recharge and continue a rudely interrupted chat session with an old friend. And you can't imagine how many credit vending posts I had to visit just to buy six GHC 5 Zain cards; they all had one and two cedi cards...

So you can understand my utter annoyance when after several attempts to re-subscribe, the page just wouldn't come up.

"What the #%$^$^@ is going on?" I asked myself so loudly that my brother entered my room with a worried look only to laugh when he realised that it was because of the "Zain People".

I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't just pick up the phone and call customer service.. Then again, you might be aware that it takes forever to get a customer service person online...

Anyways, I finally called and had to hold on for 10 minutes before a lady spoke on the other end.. So after giving her my modem number and details of the subscription package i was interested in, the voice on the other end asked:

CSP: Is there anything else I can do for you to have a wonderful world?

Me: (Pause..... thinking.........ask) What is wrong with the subscription page? I tried several times to subscribe but couldn't.

CSP: We are not using that now so you have to call us anytime you need to re-subscribe...

What????

I have to call 111 anytime I need to re-subscribe and follow all those voice prompts, hold on for 10-15 minutes before getting served?

Can someone find a way to explain how that is a wonderful world?

The Birthday "Senpay".......

I woke up this morning very upset due to a long night of total darkness and heat. After my usual morning exercise, I showered and had to wait for twenty minutes before getting a vehicle to work...

As I sat at my desk chewing my bread lazily and sipping my coffee, I thought about the work ahead and frowned at what the Electricity Company of Ghana had done to me; I would have done most of the work at home if my laptop's battery hadn't completely discharged due to hours of work when the power was out.

As I sat and worked in silence, one of my bosses came in and announced that today was his birthday.... Good news!! As the well wishes began, he asked one of the drivers to go round and take drink orders from the staff so that we could have a little drink party...

So, this driver goes round with his list and takes everyone's order, after which the list was brought to the boss. As the orders were reviewed, my boss comes across an incomprehensible word "Senpay". So he calls the driver and I happened to overhear their conversation......

Boss: What is this word?

Driver: Senpay

Boss: You mean Champagne?

Driver: Yes.....

My God! I just let go and burst into uncontrollable laughter as my colleagues looked at the driver with grins on their faces.... Trust the Ghanaian illiterate to spell a word the way he/she hears it being pronounced... Couldn't he have asked the person who made that request to spell the word for him?

What a day! After such a good laugh, there is no way the rest of my day can be boring.

So, I'm off to do some serious work...

Have a great day........

Waste Management In Ghana... Only 30% Managed?

Source: Wanless.com

Now the first question I asked myself when I saw this article Ghana manages only 30 percent of her waste was- "What are the institutional bodies in charge of managing environmental issues doing about this?"

Then i remembered, these bodies have not been able to keep pace with the rapid accumulation of waste. They also concentrate more on disposal of waste rather than on management practices such as recycling. Also, some individuals who are unable to pay the fees charged by these companies but, on the other hand need to keep their homes clean and free of waste at all costs, resort to dumping their waste in inappropriate places. Others whose areas are not covered by these waste management companies also end up disposing their waste in like manner.

This has resulted in waste being found in gutters, drains, water bodies and on the streets and undeveloped pieces of land around the country. As one report by the Environmental Protection Agency stated, “municipal solid waste has been disposed of anywhere, anyhow, without regard to the nuisance and harm caused to the environment. All kinds of waste, regardless of their nature are being dumped indiscriminately into depressions, sand pits, old quarries, beaches, drains, and even in certain areas, along streets”. Pedestrians as well as motorists throw empty or sometimes, half-filled pure water sachets as well as food wrappers on the streets as they move about performing their daily activities. These are done with excuses such as, the unavailability of waste bins at those particular areas.

And with the case of sewage waste disposal, many people have resorted to easing themselves in open places as well as in black polythene bags and dumping them everywhere, often in gutters which end up getting choked. These gutters often leave a disgusting sight with its accompanying stench.

The accompanying consequences of such actions are more than obvious. Incidence of contagious diseases like Cholera and Tuberculosis have a field day preying on the lives of innocent people who probably played no role in degrading the environment. Not to mention, the environmental challenges- drains are choked, streets are heaped with refuse and emit unpleasant odour. In addition, the chocked drainage system has resulted, time and again, in flooding due to the inability of rain water to run its was long drains and smaller water bodies.

In the end however, it is up to us to, in our own small way, find ways to manage the waste we produce by ourselves...

Burn what can be burnt
Bury stuff that are organic so as to provide manure
Sort out plastics so that they are sent to their producers for recycling...

Now, is that so hard to do??

The Sex In "Heart Of Men"....

Two nights ago, after hours of working on laptops, my brother and I decided to rest our tired bodies by watching a movie. Our film of choice was the much talked about Heart of Men and I must confess that, due to all the talk about it being soft porn, I was really anxious to see the movie and, draw my own conclusions.

So, we started the movie and, boy Oh boy…. We couldn’t take our eyes off till we finished watching both parts (1&2). What a movie! Could you believe that several minutes after seeing the crack and some part of Majid Michel’s butt, my brother had to tell me to shut my mouth which was gaping in amazement? Yes oo….

But on a serious note, the Venus Movie Production which was directed by Frank Rajah Arase proved that Ghanaian movies have finally found “it”. Hasn’t it been a while since one could actually watch a movie and be unsure of its ending?

Yet, there were a few things that didn’t match up in my opinion. Like, wouldn’t it have been a thrill if John Dumelo’s character had appeared at the latter part of the movie instead of immediately after he was shot? That would have been brought in an intelligent element of surprise.

And why did Nadia Buari’s character tell that of John Dumelo that Majid Michel’s character was at Accra-Ghana when, the former characters were only at the Northern Region and not another country?

One question that I can’t seem to answer is this: Since we all watch Western movies which have more steamy scenes than this movie, why are people complaining and calling the actors and actresses porn stars? No one has called Sharon Stone a porn star for Basic Instinct, or Halle Berry a slut for that steamy scene with Billy Bob Thornton in Monster’s Ball.

Come on! even Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas weren’t called porn stars for their sex scene in Original Sin. These are movies that most people have probably seen several times.

Let us stop the hypocrisy and face the truth, Ghanaians like to see some “skin”. Why do you think business is booming for newspaper vendors who sell sex-related papers like Funtime, Ebony, among many others? Don’t you see the pictures on the papers? It’s either a topless lady with huge “bazookas” or a lady with nothing on at all. Why aren’t people talking about that? Think about it…

Nevertheless, there are real problems concerning the sex scenes in African movies. Unlike the foreign movies that have stunt actors/actresses and body doubles to play roles that the real actors/actresses find distasteful or too erotic as well as the ability to manipulate the camera in creating elements of deception, Ghana hasn’t gotten to that level in the film making industry. This leaves the actors with no choice than to act out all the scenes themselves.

In my opinion, sex scenes without so little clothing can still make an interesting movie. And we must remember that despite the hunger for international recognition, our movies industry will only grow when our citizens support it too. And we do hold onto our cultural values to some extent.

I conclude this post by saying that, despite a few flaws in the movie, the cast and crew especially, those in charge of editing, continuity e.t.c, must be applauded for their efforts.

Please, feel free to give your comments on this issue.

THE "F" WORD......

So here's the deal... a friend showed me this video on youtube and, I just had to share..........

Its un"fucking"believable...... Enjoy!!!!





Interesting isn't it. Hope you guys and gals have a lovely weekend.............

Making It Happen!!!!!

She was sitting on the pavement floor.

3 months pregnant; baby’s daddy unknown

Had to drop out of JSS

Cus she couldn’t take the scorn

How could they have known?

Gang rape at a leavers jam, an unlikely probability

But she still braces herself with tear filled eyes and says……

I will not give up

I am gonna fight

And fulfil my purpose in life..

It’s the end of the month

Rent is due

All he has is an empty bank account and a week’s eviction notice

Lost his job

Accused of a crime he didn’t commit

Now peers are telling him to steal and sell drugs

In the midst of his confusion

He closes his eyes, clasps his hands in prayer and says…….

I will not bend or be broken

I will make things happen the right way

In this life

No matter what you go through

Never ever give up

Or do things through the back door

Cus the moment you do

You lose everything

You can make it happen

There is a word for that- Determination!!

               (Source: easyart)

Even this kitten has it..........

So, make it happen through Determination!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Food Joints In Ghana: We Beg, The Monosodium Is Too Much!!!

Ghanaians are known for enjoying spicy meals. Yes..... we love our pepper soups and stews hot. And though most people feel embarassed to admit it,  there is a special bond that most Ghanaians share when it gets to our natural momonis, kakos, among other natural herbs and spices.  Aren't we delighted when we visit one-stop stalls stocked with all our spices in the markets? Yes we are!!!

Then, why do many eating places in Ghana choose to kill us slowly by literally pouring Monosodium Glutamate(MSG) into everything they prepare- from beans and kontonmire stews to plain rice??? I mean, there are so many alternatives one can use in place of that deadly substance, so why MSG????

Yesterday afternoon, I decided to go for a plate of plain rice and kontonmire stew from a respected restaurant in town. After taking a spoonful of the meal, I began to have severe palpitations; I tend to have that reaction when there is too much MSG in any food substance I ingest. The food also tasted of a combination of momoni and MSG that had gone down disaster lane...

Now why would anyone want to add MSG to a dish that already has a natural flavor enhancer such as momoni in it? Can you tell me?

The most annoying part of it all is that MSG has no nutrients and does not really make food taste great but rather,send signals to the brain to make us believe that the food we are eating actually tastes good.

For more information please visit this link MSG dangers.

If you use a lot of MSG in the form of cubes and the powder, please minimize the intake and if possible, exclude it totally from your spices list.

Bisap a.k.a Sogbolo: Don't take this Highly Nutritious Drink For Granted!

Bisap, also known as Sogbolo in most parts of the country, is a very popular drink in Ghana. Sold mostly in plastic bags by women and children who roam about town screaming "sogbolo", this drink is usually drank cold.

However, most Ghanaians would rather drink a bottle of Coca Cola which contains no nutrients than take this highly nutritious drink because of the way it is packaged and sold. Maybe I should tell you guys what you are missing by not taking "Sogbolo"

From my research on  Bisap, my findings revealed the following:

1. 
   
   Bisap is rich in Vitamin C, which helps in the healing of wounds and also improves iron absorption from the gut. This in turn promotes red blood cell formation and prevents anaemia.
   
   
   
   
   
2. 
   
   It may have some anti-hypertensive properties. Hypertensive patients can also take it to control their blood pressure.
   
   
   
   
   
3. 
   
   Bisap is rich in antioxidants which help in neutralizing FREE RADICALS that are responsible for causing damage to our cells in the form of cancers.
   
   
   

So what are you waiting for? Bisap is far lower in calories than the Cokes, Fantas etc. Switch choices please..............

Oh!! And if you are worried about the source of water used in making this drink outside, then try making it at home. Its easy to prepare and the ingredients are more than affordable.

I hope you follow this recipe and enjoy the results of your decision.

INGREDIENTS

2 cups dried hibiscus flowers (bissap) . For those who do not know what the flowers look like, check the pix.

1/2 teaspoon vanilla, rum or any  flavoring of your choice

sugar to taste (probably 1 to 2 cups; or sugar substitute)

5 cups of boiling water

PROCEDURE

1. Bring the water to a boil. While it's heating, put the 2 cups of hibiscus flowers in a metal strainer in the sink and rinse them lightly with water to remove any sand or grit they might contain (the dried flowers bleed immediately, so make sure you keep the strainer in the sink).
2. Put the rinsed flowers into the pot of boiling water and it boil for 20-30 minutes.
3. Strain and let it sit for at least 4 hours.
4. Then make your sugar syrup and add the flavoring.
5. After both syrup and drink cool, mix and put in fridge to chill.
   
   And Voila!!! You are ready to savor this tasty delight.
   

Why Is It DIFFICULT To Lose Weight in Ghana?

 (Google pix)

Ever since I embarked on my weight loss journey in June, several things and people have tried to put me down. Its something that I have never been able to understand to this date. Losing weight in Ghana takes a lot of hard work and determination due to the following reasons:

• There are lots of carbs in our staples- rice, cassava, yam, potato. etc.
• Vegetables are very expensive here and one can't always eat kontonmire and light soup.
• Our lifestyles usually leave us eating very late at night and going to bed afterwards.

Other reasons why it is difficult is because of the people we find around us. Its like some people just want you to fail. I mean, its not my fault is I have set a goal for myself and they haven't. Here are some of the annoying things that people do.

1. They tell you to lose weight and later tell you there is nothing with drinking soda drinks which are high in empty calories. Where is that contradiction coming from?
2. They buy pastries as presents for you instead of healthier options like fruits.
3. They laugh in disbelief when you try to share your progress and achievements with them.
4. Some even go to the extent of gossiping about you and cooking up reasons for your decision to lose weight such as, the love of your life left you for a slimmer babe or that you have personality issues. Imagine that!

 I remember one incident where I refused to eat the creamed salad that was added to my rice. A colleague of mine just started giving me looks and calling me a self conceited person for that. Is it by force to eat something I don't like? Eh?

Now I'm saying all these from personal experience. After losing 10kgs and hitting a plateau ( which i'm gonna break soon), I found a way to prevent the enemies of my progress from getting to me.

1. I distanced myself from all those who only said negative things about my goals.
2. I worked harder to prove to them that I could accomplish anything once I set my mind to do so.
3. I talked to people who supported my decision to lose weight.
4. I accepted the fact that people are always gonna try to pull you down no matter what.

Now, these can apply to you in other scenarios and not necessarily the one spelt out here. I'm sure that with these pointers, you can do absolutely anything.....

Today is Friday so, have a drink with friends after work to relax and enjoy the start of a wonderful weekend.

Cheers

Why I Worry About The Pure Water I Buy...........

(Google pix)

Two days ago, as my friend and I were chatting about our days back in school, one thing that got us laughing was the term "After you". Thanks to the previously popular Opanyin di Panyin ( Water bagged in transparent plastic bags), this term travelled far and wide. It was everywhere, particularly in schools. Those who couldn't buy their own bags could at least get some from a friend once they shouted "after you" before someone else did.

That was before the Pure Water craze began in early 2000. Now its absolutely everywhere. On every street and, at bus stations you will find either someone with an ice box, or a child with a basket on their head, stuffed with chilled bags of what is claimed to be purified water.

I quickly stopped the Opanyin di Panyin since I sometimes suspected that the water wasn't boiled and filtered before being bagged for sale. Here I was, so sure that this new bagged water could do no harm. After all, they were branded with a name, had the address of the producers and, even listed the mineral composition of the water. Oh! How naive could I have been?

The scales however, fell of my eyes and i saw how sickly twisted the minds of some Ghanaians who, would do anything for money, could be. By the way who introduced that poor imitation of the taste derived from water stored in the smoked earthenware pot? Not only does the water taste bad but, its like you can literally taste the smoke.. Aaargghh!

Some people do treat the water. True. But I can bet on my last cedi that the ones doing so wouldn't even constitute one percent of the total population of pure water producers. Some even go to the extent of putting the logo of the Ghana Standards Board on their bags when in actual fact, that water hasn't been tested at the labs of the Board. Isn't this something we should all be worried about?

Our lives are being endangered by quacks who bag any kind of water without the required filtering and purifying equipment. Maybe some of you should take a trip down the street behind Opeibea House. I hear we have a pure water and plantain chips production "company" there. Eiii! Da benn na ebe ye yei?

It wouldn't come as a surprise if i find out that my previous diarrhoeal attacks didn't occur from the beef sauce I've been consuming but rather, the so called pure water.

My dear friends, I leave you with this piece of advice. If you don't want to wonder whether the water you are drinking was bagged in a bath tub or near a gutter, please choose these brands for, we at least know their origins and, they haven't disappointed me, yet...........

1. 
   
   Ice Cool
   
   
   
2. 
   
   Voltic
   
   
   
3. 
   
   Aquasplash
   
   
   
4. 
   
   Bon Aqua
   
   
   
5. 
   
   Grafton
   
   
   
6. 
   
   Dasani
   
   
   
7. 
   
   Mobile Water
   
   
   

If they are any good ones that I've left out please feel free to include them...........

THE AMAZING NATURE OF BABIES

 

Its amazing how babies behave. I came across this clip and thought "there's no way I'm leaving this site without sharing "

Seeing this clip made me realise how smart, funny and interesting babies could be. It also reminded me of my childhood; which my dad is always talking about. Apparently, I used to stand in my cot and take sips from his glass of beer when he wasn't looking, and then laugh hysterically as he playfully spanked my bottom. Hmm.... Great memory.

Anyway, I decided to talk about the funny things that I've seen babies do. Hope you enjoy.......

1. They do the wrong things and try to extend their arms for a hug.
2. They listen to music and dance perfectly to the beat.
3. They pull at your bra when they see your breasts sre the same size as that of  mom's.
4. They poo on themselves and put on this face which tells you they're uncomfortable.
5. They pout their lips for kisses when they see women.

Do you know some of the funny things babies do? Please share............
Enjoy the day

MY TOP TEN GHANAIAN MOVIES OF THE NINETIES

So, as a friend and I were chatting about the much awaited Shirley Frimpong Manso flick, A Sting in the Tale (showing in November), I couldn't help but praise and criticize the director at the same time. Why??? The answer is simple.

Her scripts get you interested in the plot and keep you in suspense; which is a good thing. But, I think she should find ways of incorporating little things that would truly reflect the origins of the movie. Don't get me wrong; I loved the way she used Amakye Dede's music in the Perfect Picture and even had characters speaking a bit of Akan. But I feel there should be more of Ghana in Ghanaian movies.

I mean..... lets take cues from Kwaw Ansah whose Heritage Africa blew the whole African Continent away.... Not to talk of Love Brewed in an African Pot which I still haven't been able to acquire for my personal collection..

Now..... Proceeding to the main issue of discussion. Do you remember when the early Ghanaian movies of the 20th Century which combined humor as well as creativity? I do, and its not because GBC was the only thing we had at the time and there was no room for choices.It was because it was a true reflection of realities that occur in our society.

So, as i asked my mom to list her top 10 films of the 1990s, I was shocked and disappointed to find that she could only remember The Stab in the dark which starred Edinam Atatsi and Pascaline Edwards..... What happened to the rest?

Thus, I decided to list my top ten Ghanaian movies of the nineties. Movies that captivated many audiences in many Ghanaian homes before the Nigerian movie industry infiltrated and dominated our markets.

Here we go.............................................

1. 
   
   Cracked Illusion (1996) : This movie gave me an idea of what happens in boarding schools. After all, people always claim to be what they aren't and even hurt those close to them in the process. 
   
   
   
2. 
   
   Dangerous Game: I have only two words for this movie and Victor Lutterodt's role. Papa Ninja
   
   
   
3. 
   
   Escape to Love: We all loved Kwame Sefa Kayi in this love story.
   
   
   
4. 
   
   A Stab In The Dark: We all agree that this movie shot Pascaline Edwards to straight to stardom.
   
   
   
5. 
   
   Loving You: I can't call Commando Schwarzznegger, so I call him Schwaabanana...ha!
   
   
   
6. 
   
   Who killed Nancy: I'm always thankful for Monegram and Western Union na, ya bre pein...
   
   
   
7. 
   
   Justice: Who wouldn't commit murder when after going to prison for David Dontoh, he jilts you and takes your friend as his bride in your stead. I loved the tragic ending.
   
   
   
8. 
   
   You Can't Laugh: Sha La, Sha la la. Eshe wo sisim.... MacJordan Amartey really did his thing then....
   
   
   
9. 
   
   The Police Officer: What do you do when your family house is robbed, your father killed, sister raped, and younger brother crippled? The answer is simple; you join the police force to take revenge on the culprits. Ah! how I miss Brew Riverson Junior.
   
   
   
10. 
    
    And lastly, Out of Sight, Out of Love: My advice to men is that if you can't satisfy your wife sexually, travel abroad and come back rejuvenated or better still, let David Dontoh satisfy her needs... just kidding....
    
    
    

Well folks, these are my top ten. Can you tell me yours? Feel free to paste comments for thats the only way I learn and get better at this blogging business.....

Peace out!

THINGS THAT GET ME PISSED

I am sure that u can relate to some of the things on my list.

Well, here it goes..........

1. The touchpad mouse on laptops
2. When I use my tigo to call an mtn or zain subscriber and the annoying lady says "the tigo number u have dialled cannot be reached at this moment"
3. People who hawk and spit in front of others without even apologizing
4. Computer viruses that come back even after your antivirus claims to have neutralised or deleted them.
5. Power failures when you don't have your torchlight or candles nearby. And you end up hitting and bumping into things as you search for them.
6. When hiplife artists use stupid phrases and senseless words so that their lyrics can rhyme.
7. Troski mates who conveniently forget to give you change.
8. Banking halls with so many empty teller booths.
9. Ghanaian movies with characters named after foreign artists. Since when did we know that names such as Ciara, Rihaana and Beyonce even existed?
10. When tv stations rudely interrupt programs or movies with ads
11. TV ads which fail to show the benefits of a product's usage.
12. Reckless troski drivers
13. Spam
14. When someone is about to tell you something then goes "never mind".
15. People who take forever to respond to your instant messages on yahoo messenger and facebook.
16. When you call the MTN hotline and follow the voice prompts only to have that annoying tone blaring into your eardrum before the call ends itself.
17. Traffic caused by police officers who claim to be directing traffic.
18. People who dont ensure that the toilet is clean after they have been there.
19. People who talk loudly when they receive calls in the troski.
20. Mechanics who take troskis in their dirty work clothes and end up making yours dirty before you even reach your destination.

Hmmm..... so many things piss me off. Maybe I would have to continue this list next time. Please do not hesitate to tell me the things that piss you off.

Hope you have a good day.

WE DON'T WANT NO CRACK

I have always been and will continue to be a fan of fashionable clothing. However, I don't think that we have to show our "cheeks" down below to prove that we do know the latest trends in the evolving fashion world.

The Westerners feel no shame in showing off different parts of their body in public. But when i see a Ghanaian following that which does not agree with our (Ghanaian) cultural standards, it saddens my heart.

These days, many young Ghanaian ladies, in their bid to show that they can look like people who shop in the foreign stores by going to Kantamanto,end up being subjects of public ridicule and ostracism by showing their body parts we wouldn’t like to see like that.

Since I always paste such articles based on real life scenarios, I would take the opportunity to share my experiences with relation to this subject.

I had just managed to secure a seat in a troski after a hectic day of shopping in the central busibness district of the capital when the crack show begun.

The lady, who wore a very short camisole and low waisted jeans, spent half of the journey trying to pull the top down ( as if she didn't know that was gonna happen). I smiled as I watched her try to cover her unattractively cheap nylon panties with the short top. Unfortunately when the bus reached her destination, in her haste to get down she dropped her coins and had to bend........... you can imagine the rest.

Now as I sat in another taxi heading towards my residence at Dome, I noticed three ladies sitting in front of a kiosk with their backs towards the road and guess what; all three were giving a live show of butt cleavage... Eiiii!!!! The taxi driver who couldnt stand the sight screamed at them in Twi " Ad3n? Mo nim s3 mo tromu go ho? Me dea mon kata adie tantan na mo di tshree ye" Forgive my poor writing of the language..

I then burst into laughter as the driver continued complaining about how these days young ladies who usually have bad skin tend to show their cracks and leave the men with sour tastes in their mouths any time they had to eat fufu at the chop bars ( u know they usually divide the fufu into two)..

But on a serious note, I asked myself these questions as I got off the taxi:

1. Are these ladies intentionally showing off their butt cracks?
2. What do they aim to achieve by doing so if it is intentional?
3. Don't they realise that it automatically gives them negative images?

Maybe you can answer these questions for me. Sorry for not putting up an image but i feel it would be in bad taste and I respect my readers so much.

If you are into the butt crack thing, then all i have to say is:


WE DON'T WANT NO CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AS FOR THIS PERFUME DEAA....

For the last two months, the main topic of my prayers before I leave the house for church on Sundays has always been about the people I sit next to. Yes, I said the people I sit next to. I’m sure by now you know what I’m getting at but, let me start with a story.

Two months ago, as I entered the fully air conditioned premises of my church at North Industrial Area, looking forward to a great sermon by my pastor (who by the way, cracks the best jokes ever), I didn’t realize that the sermon was going to be a “scented” one for me.

So, I took my seat beside this neatly dressed gentleman and immediately realized my mistake. The kind of perfume that was emanating from his armpits had the distinctive smell of stale sweat combined with a cheap brand of perfume that had probably failed to do the trick (disguise the awful smell). I thought….. great. I have to take two and a half hours of this.

Well guess what? I was totally wrong. Not only did he keep raising his hands unnecessarily throughout the sermon, he decided to give a double dose by opening his mouth and shouting each time he felt “moved by the sermon or, holy spirit”… Ewurade!!!!!

Think about the Korle Lagoon to have a fair idea of what I’m talking about. And don’t even for a moment think “this is just a story.” It is totally and completely true.
So, the service ended with me going home with nothing other than a severe headache (I couldn’t enjoy the service since I kept praying for it to be over).

But seriously, how can people not know that they smell bad? Can’t they examine themselves or ask friends to do so for them?

This story is just one of many that show the experiences that people go through because of others’ ignorance. Can you believe that I don’t take the Metro Mass Buses as a result of a similar experience? (The culprit, who wore a sleeveless blouse, raised her arms to hold a pole for balance and gave us the scent of hell…). Eyee asem oo.
It’s true that nobody is perfect. We all sweat. However, there are a few ways to avoid bad body and oral odour.

Bath regularly
Shave armpits
Please use deodorants that are anti-perspirants. They reduce sweat and mask unpleasant smells.

Try not to sweat too much if you do so easily.
Don’t wear the previous day’s clothes. No matter how clean they are, they will still have the smell of the previous day’s sweat in them.
Brush your teeth frequently.
Use mouthwash if you have to and don’t forget the PKs and other minted gums (They shall never fail you)!!!!

Follow these tips and remember, You have the right to smell heavenly!!!!!

THE PHLEGM, THE SPIT, AND THE ILLS

Every day, as I walk down the street I see several Ghanaians doing so many filthy things but the one act that I cannot bring myself to understand is the hawking up of phlegm.

Seriously, do they have to make that irritating sound all the time? And as if that is not enough, they spit it out and do not even bother to cover up their mess with some sand. AARRGGHH!!

I remember my mother telling me about how someone sitting next to her in a tro-tro stretched his body across her and, spat out of the window. Would you believe that the idiot hawked up some phlegm and wanted to repeat the same action? Unbelievable!! My mom stopped him before he could and asked him to swallow his gob of slimy mucus. Thank God!!!!

Public spitting is a serious issue which is widely seen as a social menace, but rarely condemned! Spitting in Ghana happens in practically every locality, by nearly all levels of society from the labourer at the site to the conductor of a bus/trotro mate. Most of the time, the “spitter” is not even aware that this is a nasty habit, which can annoy or even injure others. Spitting phlegm, along with other habits such as blowing of the nose, and sneezing without covering the nose are harmful to public health. It is quite well proved that diseases such as tuberculosis, influenza, pneumonia, chicken pox, diphtheria, endemic fever and whooping cough are spread rapidly by phlegm and spit.

Above all, spitting in the open shows a strong lack of civic sense and a disregard to public property and shared resources. I personally believe that the Ministry of Health as well as other organizations that seek to promote health issues should, structure out a program that would create awareness among public about the diseases spread through this act of spitting in open places, and encourage people to abstain from such habits by practicing oral hygiene and self control.

Oh, and please stop the hawking and spitting if you are guilty of this practice.

Beauty Pageants: Constructive or Destructive?

Every year, different beauty pageants are promoted in the country to crown young ladies as well as open many doors that would lead to advancement, be it educational, financial and in most cases, social. Pageants such as Miss Malaika, Miss Ghana and Ghana's Most Beautiful, among several others have even become fixtures on the social calendar since their inception.

These pageants have not only become a form of entertainment, but also a topic for debate in many forums.

The first time I watched a beauty pageant was in 1994 and, as I watched the different ladies from the different regions in Ghana during the talent part, the first noticeable thing was that these ladies were helping the tourism industry by promoting the culture of the various regions that they represented. Looking at pageants from this angle paints a positive picture since promoting tourism brings in more visitors which also acts as a boost for the economy.

The prize package for winners often include scholarships, laptops, wardrobes for 1 year and a spot in an international beauty pageant that has a linkage to that particular pageant. Winners are also given the responsibility of picking issues that affect society and finding ways of improving upon the subject of concern.

Pageants may also help in boosting the confidence of the ladies since they do go through intense interview sessions during these pageants.

However, is the price that these ladies have to pay to become beauty queens worth it? The first question I keep asking is why these ladies have to wear swimsuits on stage. Some may say that it boosts their self confidence since it takes a lot of courage to model one's self half naked to a crowd of about 1000 people. But honestly, doesn't that rather put pressure on these ladies to have a certain body type or weight which may not suitable for them?

I remember watching the Miss Ghana beauty pageant auditions about a year or two years ago and gasping in shock as one of the judges told an already slim girl that she needed to lose some more weight. My God! Do we want anorexics as beauty queens or what?

These ladies who want to be queens of beauty would only resort to bad eating habits which, in the long term could have devastating medical effects on them.

Now that doesn't imply that all contestants have eating disorders. You must agree that some of these ladies push themselves to the edge in order to achieve the kind of results required by these pageants.

Don't these pageants look at pretty faces? Why did Kate Menson of Face of Africa have to lose weight in order to win.

I think its time Africans stop following the people of the Western world blindly. Pageants that promote education, tourism and the development of self esteem are highly lauded. However, organisers of pageants that force women to kill themselves slowly just to be in the spotlight should restructure their requirements. After all, even the slim ones couldn't tell us what Euthanasia was.

I end here.

CAR NA YE MA!

Pix (Ghanaweb)

Hello folks,

Its the start of the weekend and i hope you are all as excited as i am. The last time, i gave you my experiences on the troski on my way to work. Little did i now that i would have a sequel to that story.

Yesterday as i boarded the trotro, i looked around as i asked myself:"what should i talk about today?" In less than two minutes, the trotro mate did something that i felt was worth mentioning here.

Have you ever heard of a mate getting drunk at as early 6am? Yes, that early.................................

As i sat in the trotro (as he shouted "Haatso, Madina" )wondering why this mate was reeking of alcohol, i heard someone hail the trotro.

The mate ignored him and asked the driver to continue. At this point, i became confused. Wasn't this mate prepared to make money? The prospective passenger who was offended asked him in Akan "Mate e dien life no no?".

The mate, who was offended by that question refused to let the gentleman board the vehicle. Instead he stood at the point of entry and said in a gruff voice "car na ye ma" which means that there was no available seat. But the funny part was that there were only two people in the vehicle, myself included.

The lady beside me burst into laughter as i tried so hard not to laugh.

Now, the driver who had been quiet all his while got angry and asked the mate to quit the nonsense as the passengers were the main reason why they were on the road. What happened next was something i have never seen in all my years of being a trotro passenger; the mate got angry and asked the driver to take his place. What made it funny was what he said a few minutes later.

"Massa, eye edwuma na yee ye. Enye sa anka wo ti pein ne me anaa?" I am sure you know what happened next. Yours truly, the driver as well as the other passengers had a good laugh at the mate's expense. He only ended up looking foolish in the trotro.

Well folks, I hope you enjoyed today's tale. Enjoy the weekend but don't overchill. Till Monday its ............................

Cheers

TROTRO ISSUES

Have you ever wondered why trotro mates are always quarreling with passengers? Well, I'm sure most of you would say its about the transport fare. This brings me to the topic for today.

This morning, as i was heading to the office i couldn't help but enjoy the nasty exchange between the trotro driver and a passenger sitting next to him. What i couldn't believe was that the reason for the exchange was five pesewas (old 500 cedis). This usually happens when the prices of fuel keep changing but on this day, these prices were supposed to have stabilised.

As if that was not enough drama, the gentleman sitting beside me suddenly felt there was the need for him to switch on his radio. "Don't these people know about earphones?" was the first question i asked myself.

Just when i thought things would get worse, something very interesting happened; a lady who was in a giving mood, gave us a full dose of the crack of her buttocks as she was alighting from the trotro. That was when i burst into uncontrollable laughter and guess what? the other passengers as if on cue also started laughing.

On a serious note however, women must be very careful when dressing and should not follow the trends of the west blindly by revealing their private parts in the full glare of the public. They only degrade womanhood by doing so.

And that's where i leave you. I hope you visit next time for more interesting stuff.

Adios.

Be whatever you wanna be!

Hey fellas,

I was doing some research when i came across this poem which i felt, would help when times are hard and you feel all hope is lost. Enjoy.

There is inside you all of the potential to be whatever you want to be, all of the energy to do whatever you want to do.

Imagine yourself as you would like to be, doing what you want to do, and each day, take one step towards your dream.

And though at times it may seem too difficult to continue, hold on to your dream.

One morning you will awake to find that you are the person you dreamed of, doing what you wanted to do, simply because you had the courage to believe in your potential and to hold on to your dream.

~ Donna Levine ~